One line humor

One Line Humor

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while  driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. 


[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right 
      and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've 
     purchased new school uniforms. 

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
      cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. 

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you
       get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll
        take it anyway. 

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she
        agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, 
       always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things
        more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,
         he still ends up with the same boss. 

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between 
        address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have 
        done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk 
         because they have to say something 

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father 
         seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come. 

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality
        just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. 

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. 
       It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or beingmurdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. 

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!